Merry Christmas!

 A very Merry Christmas from your favorite bi-coastal best friends. :-) 

"All I Want For Christmas is a Tri Delta" Date Party, December 2006

I hope your holiday is wonderful and cozy and spent with people (and/or pets) you love. As this is my first Christmas in my parents' new home in Houston, I'm missing Mary in Duncan very much.  Luckily we'll be reunited soon as I'll be heading to OK for New Years and for a very fun wedding 1/1/11. Thank goodness.

Until then, a Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.  :-) 

A Public Service Announcement: Beware of Jesus Pimps

While you may not be familiar with the term Jesus pimp (coined by my 'little' Anne Birkett in 2005 when describing the king of Jesus pimps in action at the OU cafeteria), you are more than likely all-too-familiar with the kind of guys it describes.  


Ben Lee gives the basic definition of a Jesus pimp in his song Get Gotten... "Big, big dreams in a small, small world, and I'm using God to pick up girls..."  


And that is what they do, whether on purpose or not, Jesus pimps use the inherent 'good guy' status associated with their church involvement, community service, extracurricular activities, etc, to lure in unsuspecting girls.  Sometimes they find their perfect match in a lovely little Jesus pimptress (yes, girls can qualify for this as well), but often their actions just lead to annoying confusion and frustration.  After witnessing and experiencing the obnoxious behaviors of Jesus pimps far too many times throughout the years, I decided that the world needed a PSA warning against their kind.  (Please note that I am by NO MEANS issuing a PSA about Christian guys in general.  As a Christian myself, a guy's faith is of major importance to me when deciding whether or not to date him.  Jesus pimps are not your average nice Christian guy, although sometimes they can be cleverly disguised as one, hence the need for this post.)


In order to best detail the variety of J.P. tendencies, I've broken them down into five categories: the multi-tasker, the evangelist,  the over-eager, the non-committer, and the wolf in sheep's clothing.  


1.) The Multi-Tasker

 A distinct breed of a "player", this type of Jesus pimp leads numerous hopeful girls on simultaneously. What distinguishes him from regular players is the fact that while he's irresponsibly wooing multiple girls, he does not actually hook up with them, like a normal player would. Instead, the multi-tasking J.P. simply takes a multitude of girls on seemingly innocent dates in the guise of 'just hanging out', ergo, not getting serious with any of them. He is overly (read: annoyingly) friendly and outgoing and thinks that every female between the ages of 18 and 29 is automatically great friends with him after one brief introduction.  He tends to be very affectionate, embracing even minor female acquaintances in huge bear hugs upon seeing them. He's fun-loving and spontaneous but also slightly indie and pensive, so get ready for invitations for free-spirited activities like playing frisbee outside barefoot and cool slightly alternative activities like getting coffee and studying together in the library.  With this seemingly 'great catch' giving flirty affection to all the girls he is 'really close friends' with on a regular basis, it's no wonder that many girls fall into the trap of thinking he's totally into them and about to make them his perfect little Jesus pimptress girlfriend.  I'm sorry to break it to you, darlings, but he's not.  He's probably taking another little fresh-faced female to your favorite coffee shop right now. 


2.) The Evangelist

 This type of Jesus pimp is heavier on the Jesus, lighter on the pimp. The term 'missionary dating' comes to mind here. This type of J.P. likes to bring females of lesser spiritual vigor than himself on 'dates' such as attending a worship night or Bible study together.  He often wears some type of Christian influenced jewelry and is likely a member of Christian fraternity like BYX (Brothers Under Christ).  His hobbies often include playing the guitar or djembe in a worship band and going on mission trips to Africa.  


3.) The Over-Eager

 This J.P. is ready to be a hubby and if you do something as innocent as introduce yourself to him at a crowded bar, this makes you a worthy candidate to be his wifey. Seriously, this guy goes from 0-60 in less than 10 seconds. Heaven forbid you actually agree to go on a first date with him...date #2 might be looking at engagement rings.  Okay, this is a bit of hyperbole, yes, but this type of J.P. really does want to dive into an intense serious relationship ridiculously quickly, often based simply on the fact that you too like Jesus and you have given him the slightest bit of attention.  He does not understand subtlety, so unfortunately, when you catch onto his craziness and screen all of his calls, he won't get it.  You're going to have to just be up front and tell him it's a no go and to look elsewhere for his love connection (and even then, he will probably sporadically try to flirt with you via facebook chat for many months/years to come), unless of course you too are one of the "ring before spring" types, in which case, every happiness to you both... 


4.) The Non-Committer

 This type of J.P. is particularly confusing. He will take a girl on many legit, non-deniable dates and play the complete role of a boyfriend (planning the dates, picking her up, opening the car door, paying for everything, etc.) only to claim that he and the girl are 'just friends' months later when the girl finally caves and brings up a DTR (define the relationship) conversation of sorts. These are more than the 'hang out' dates common to the multi-tasker; these are nice dinners/drinks/movies/concerts/etc. Straight up dates.  During these wonderful dates, there will likely be a confusing lack of affection.  When the ridiculous mixed signals get the best of her and the girl brings up a DTR (because he certainly won't bring it up himself) he will likely say some sort of (lame) excuse like that he really loves spending time with her but that he just can't be in a relationship during this season of life or that he doesn't think God wants him to date right now or something like that. 


5.) The Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

 This J.P. comes off as an innocently sweet guy, chivalrous, respectful and thoughtful to the max, but in reality he just wants to take off your pretty little church dress. He will likely play up the good guy card big time, sharing many qualities with the evangelist and multi-tasker.  Don't let the fact that you met him at church, he volunteers with Big Brothers/Big Sisters and he brings you on such innocent creative dates like flying kites and feeding the ducks at the duck pond fool you.  He can throw those positive moral values down the drain and turn into the likes of a horny frat guy faster than you can say "P-I-M-P."  


So there you have the five main categories of Jesus pimps. Several of these behaviors overlap between categories (especially The Evangelist's characteristics), and the tendencies/behaviors of this special breed of boys are by no means limited to those described here. 


I hope this PSA is an enlightening resource to help girls avoid the confusion and frustration of encounters with Jesus pimps and to help boys not be Jesus pimps themselves.  Spread the word: friends don't let friends date/be Jesus pimps. 


your PSA announcer, 
Annie

A Response to Besties: Abridged

A hilarious remark from my dear (snarky) friend, Garrett, drew my attention to how particularly awkward the photo from our 8th/9th grade visit to Disney World was in Mary's wonderful previous post. (He said, "That photo is the funniest thing I've ever seen.  I'm glad you got your eyebrows under control.")  That made me a.) laugh a lot and b.) look at that photo again... and he's right.  YOWZA.  That was not my finest moment. Ha!  I thought it would be nice to do a little compare and contrast to see what a significant difference a little over a decade can make... 

1998

 

2010 

Let us all thank the good Lord in heaven that we outgrew our painfully awkward stages...and that I did indeed learn to control my eyebrows.  ;-)  

Awkwardly yours, 

at

A Misconception

Below is a legit facebook chat conversation I randomly had today with an old buddy from Oklahoma...

Him: are you famous?
Me: hahah... no

why?

Him: i don't know. you seem like it.

Me: hahaha.

um... thanks?

not famous.

haha

Him: just wondering...

And that was that.  Ha!  I just found this to be particularly funny and feel that several people from back home may have similar misconceptions.  


Nope.
Not famous.  
Not going to be.  
Just here to do entertainment marketing.... and maybe go to the beach and some fun parties too. :-) 


Currently listening to: Landon Pigg
Why: because I fell in love with his song "Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop" the moment I heard it featured on an AT&T commercial several months ago and immediately purchased his EP.  (You may also recognize him as Ellen Page's love interest in WHIP IT).  I especially love the sweet uncertainty of the first two lines of said song: "I think that possibly maybe I'm falling for you; Yes, there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you..."  This romantically sweet song is a staple on my 'sleepy time' playlist... which is what I need to do now...(yawn).  


Goodnight my darlings.


Your NON-famous friend, 
at

Rockin' Around the Office Christmas Tree

In my 2 years in the work force, I have learned many things, one of them being that office Christmas parties are funny things.  Everyone's already feeling extra festive and at my former place of employment, an open bar was involved... this is a beautiful recipe for witnessing unsuspecting co-workers awkwardly dancing and/or getting the rest of the afternoon off. :-)  

This is my first Christmas season at Warner Bros, and our department holiday party is this Wednesday.  I am the 'elf' on the party committee in charge of music.  The party is scheduled to last from 1:00-6:00 PM.  I kid you not.  That's a lot of "Jingle Bells".  What's your favorite Christmas song and/or album?? (No really, please tell me...) I've got some major playlist making on my to do list.  

You never REALLY know what to expect at an office Christmas party, but word on the street is that in addition to a food and 'adult beverages', there will be a tacky Christmas sweater contest, holiday movies, karaoke, and a possible visit from Santa at this WB shindig.  Tempting as it may be, I think I'm going to refrain from busting out rousing rendition of Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas is You" this year.  (My mother who once when I was in college solemnly told me, "Annie, I don't care how much you drink... you do NOT karaoke..." would approve of this decision I think). ;-)  Basically, as I thoroughly enjoy celebrating this festive holiday with my new co-workers, I will keep this someecard in the back of my mind, and act accordingly... 

In other news, I got new glasses! Check these babies out...  :-) I'm a fan.  

Currently listening: Eric Hutchinson

Why: You might THINK that given my task of supplying 5 hours of Christmas music, I'd be listening to Hanson "Snowed In" right now, but I'm going to save that for tomorrow. ;-) I discovered Eric Hutchinson when he opened for an (amazing) Andrew McMahon show a year or so ago and was instantly a fan.  I've literally been meaning to get his album ever since that fateful opening act, but never got around to it.  Christmas came a bit early this week, however, and the sweet girl who sits right behind me got a large package of cds from a friend at a record label.  She said I could take whatever I wanted (oh how I love swag!), and I was so excited to see Eric Hutchinson's album up for grabs! Cha chiiiing!  He's just as great as I remember.  Listen to "Ok, It's Alright With Me" and "Rock & Roll".  

Festively yours, 

at