An Unexpected Knock: Guest Blog by Kayla

What would you do if you were visiting a friend in a strange new city, and as you were waiting on said friend to get home from work, there was an unexpected knock from a seemingly crazy person at the door?  Well, that exact scenario happened when my darling Kayla visited me a few weeks ago. The events that followed for Kayla were terrifying at the time, hilarious in retrospect.  So funny, in fact, that I felt her tale must be recounted here. So here you have it: An Unexpected Knock. 

During my first day in LA, I decided to entertain myself at Annie’s awesome celebrity gym while she was at work. Six hours later, after enduring three intense workout classes, running several miles, riding three subways and two buses, I found my way back to Annie’s apartment. I grabbed some food and collapsed on the couch with insufficient energy to do anything more than chat with Annie on Gmail and search for funny kitten videos to cheer her up after a stressful day at work.

After a few minutes there was a knock at the door. I closed my computer and jumped up, quickly trying to make myself presentable enough to answer the door. By the time I got to the door I realized I wasn’t sure if I wanted to answer it or not. Then there was another knock. I realized that my scurrying about had made too much noise to pretend like I wasn’t home so I said hello and looked through the peephole. I saw an older man with dark circles under his eyes, standing next to a shopping cart full of some strange looking stuff and a hammer. Creepy. Yet the visual was nothing compared to what I heard next. He said in a thick accent, “Hello. It’s the Candyman. I have a question for you”. Cue total and complete freak out.

It was like every horror movie I had ever seen was becoming a reality. I knew better than to ask what his question was...that always leads to sure and sudden death. So logically I ran back to the kitchen and grabbed a knife. And then I thought I should call someone but realized that my cell phone had died during my day at the gym and I hadn’t plugged it in to recharge yet. So I was stranded on the second floor with the CANDYMAN waiting for me at the door.

Then I remembered my computer. I quickly opened it and typed to Annie “CALL THE POLICE!!! There is a crazy man at the door who says he is the Candyman!!!” I can imagine how strange it would have been for Annie to receive that message so naturally she thought I was joking. I went on to explain that if I was ever serious about anything in my life it is this. I told her that I was holding a knife and crying (which I was). So then she got serious and tried to think of any possible explanation of who could be at the door. Other than a psychotic serial killer. She thought perhaps it could be the landlord coming to fix something she requested. Good thought. So she told me his name so I ran back to the door to ask my potential killer what his name was. I didn’t really understand the name he said but it most certainly wasn’t her landlord’s name. So any bit of calm I had managed to muster disappeared in that moment. But as I ran back to the computer it dawned on me…maybe he said Handyman! With his accent it was possible and I was still holding onto hope that there could be a logical explanation. I wasn’t ready to jump off of the balcony just yet. So I asked Annie what he might have come to do and then bravely approached the door again (knife in hand). His story matched hers. I felt 85% better but still could not stop shaking from the intense adrenaline rush.

So I told Annie that I was going to open the door and that she should call the police if I wasn’t back in one minute. Luckily I was and the HANDYMAN who pronounces a very hard H, did his job and left. Although I’m sure he was rather confused when I took ten minutes to open the door and wouldn’t go anywhere near him while he worked. But he should learn to call first. And to pronounce a soft H.